The 1 thing I learned from Michelle Obama’s Becoming — 7800 miles away
Michelle Obama’s Becoming is a stunning book. It is climbing the charts as a best-selling memoir, and if you’re looking for a review, here’s mine.
While there are many lessons to be learnt from Ms Obama’s account of her life, sitting at home in this COVID-19 pandemic, nearly 7800 miles from her, one thing resonated with me more than anything.
“Ask boldly for what you want”
This is particularly important for young women, who juggle the demands of a full-time career and their homes — and somewhere along the way, find themselves hunkering down at the workplace, not speaking up to avoid rocking the boat.
Studies have shown, for example, that of MBA graduates, over half the men negotiated their salaries, compared to only one-eighth of the women.
There is always an underlying fear — especially in this competitive economy that someone better /less expensive than you will come around, usurping your place at the table. Men seem to be more confident and sure of their value, and therefore likelier to get what they want.
As a young, professional woman myself — I have often seen myself accepting lesser pay with more responsibilities, going the extra mile without acknowledgement or reimbursement in the workplace. For me, and many other women just like me — hearing this message from someone who is as inspirational as the former first lady was empowering.
I am not sure if she was consciously sharing this message — but it struck me most, across several instances in the book -
“It became clear that if I wanted to join the tribe, I’d have to negotiate my way in, asking for exactly what I needed in terms of salary, which was significantly more than Public Allies had expected to pay. This was simply my reality. I couldn’t be shy or embarrassed about my needs.”
Another example is when she straightaway talks about what she needs in a job interview -
“I wasn’t going to try to hide the messiness of my existence, from the breastfeeding baby and the three-year-old in preschool to the fact that with my husband’s topsy-turvy political schedule I was in charge of more or less every aspect of life at home. Somewhat brazenly, I suppose, I laid all this out in my interview with the hospital’s new president. I even brought three-month-old Sasha along with me, too…. Here is me, I was saying. And here also is my baby.”
One can argue that in most circumstances people won’t get you, or won’t accommodate for you. It is the reasoning we all deploy, as women, compromising with our own ambition instead. But if you don’t ask for it, you miss out on the chance of it all working out, of a better salary, better prospects, etc.
This message for me — a woman of different ethnicity, in a different country than Ms Obama sparked hope. We all can find the courage to speak up for ourselves, we can all be brazen for what we want and need. We can all become.
Originally published at http://thisgirlissomewhereelse.wordpress.com on June 7, 2020.
