Self-care has come to represent a host of things. ‘Treat yourself’ is an often-repeated slogan thrown at us from advertisements and billboards around the globe, selling us self-care.
These campaigns suggest everything from body lotions and bath bombs to expensive clothing and luxury watches, all with the promise of making us feel better about ourselves.
However, buying these material items cannot help if you are unhappy inside. At best, it can give you fleeting pleasure, but it will not deliver long-lasting happiness.
So if this is not the definition of ‘self-care’, what exactly is it?
I would argue that self-care has several components, just as the self does.
What is ‘real’ self-care? -
Self-care can be of three different types -
1. Physical :
Physical self-care is the most commonly described one, which means taking care of your body, listening to it and treating it with care. This is the only place we have to live, so why not make it a good one? Some kinds of physical self-care are:
- Exercise: Exercise is mentioned nearly everywhere, by nearly every single health article or book, and with good reason. Exercising is vital to our well-being. It clears up any mental fog you may be experiencing, vanquishes anxiety/frustration, pumps up the heartbeat, etc. Daily exercise is necessary; a form of self-care whose benefits far outweigh that of a new pair of pants.
- Eating healthy: Eating your greens as your parents told you to do as a kid, might have been one of the best pieces of advice they gave. Eating leafy vegetables, regulating portion sizes and eating only when hungry are all ways of showing yourself some love. It might not taste the best, but your body will thank you by being more energetic and stronger.
2. Mental:
Mental health is now more important than ever. Given the ongoing pandemic, a lot of us are stuck indoors most of the time. This can lead to anxiety, loneliness, depression and frustration. Here are some things you can do to retain your mental space at this time:
- Get rid of toxic relationships: Toxic people in the form of partners, friends, family members, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. sap our energy and leave us feeling vulnerable and small. Manipulation and gaslighting are among the toxic behaviours that should never be tolerated. Taking care of your mental peace and your self-talk is important! Get out of such relationships if possible. If not (in case of family members, for example), limit your exposure to them.
- Be kind to yourself: Many of us hold past wounds such as emotional/verbal abuse, shaming body talk etc. within us way beyond the incident. Such words, viewpoints might have taken permanent residence in your head. You probably repeat them to yourself without even noticing that you do so. For example, if a teacher told you in the tenth grade that you’re stupid, maybe at your job when faced with a tough task you sub-consciously repeat it to yourself (“I can’t do that, I’m so stupid” OR “I can’t believe I thought I could do that, I am such an idiot!”)
Release yourself from such thoughts. Check yourself every single time you think that (an exercise that is difficult at first but gets easier with practice) — and interject with a kinder sentence (“I definitely can do this, I just need to practice/study/work harder that’s all” OR “It’s ok if I couldn’t do that, I’ll try harder next time”)
- Get rid of the clutter in your head: Studies say that on an average, the human mind has 60,000–80,000 thoughts daily. Are all of these productive, kind or helpful thoughts? Probably not. They are clutter in your head — reaffirmations of your past experiences, judgements of the present and ruminations of the past. In other words, they are useless thoughts.
Try and get rid of some of this mental clutter. How? You can:
Meditate (an excellent tool for managing the mind)
Journal to put your thoughts on the paper
Think of ideas instead of people — what can you do to contribute, where can you add value — whether in your career or a hobby that you have taken up.
3. Emotional:
Emotional health is another facet we should keep in mind. You can exercise emotional self-care by:
- Setting boundaries: Sometimes we go along with plans that we have no interest in, simply because we are afraid of being judged or making other people unhappy. Setting clear boundaries around what you want/can do or not do, can help you reserve your energy for the things you actually like to do. It can take practice, but once you start saying ‘no’ to other people and ‘yes’ to yourself more often, you’ll be less overwhelmed, less stressed — making for a happier you.
- Doing something that brings you joy: Make time for yourself every single day, by prioritizing what you’d like to do. It can be something as simple as taking a long shower, reading a good book or going for a walk.
Make your own little rituals — maybe you want to catch up over coffee with a good friend or take extra time in the garden, whatever it is, make sure it is meaningful to you, and take out time for it daily.
Taking care of yourself is not always smooth sailing. Some days are harder than the other days. Stressful situations (like COVID-19), deadlines, commitments all can get in the way of having a well-balanced life.
Hopefully, you will be to use the ideas above to make a difference in your life! Let me know if these helped you.
Originally published at http://thisgirlissomewhereelse.wordpress.com on July 6, 2020.
